Uh oh. Someone learned the wrong lessons from the TD's hilariously awful 2015 season. As much as this blog laughed about that season, it's only fair that we give the same amount of shame to the Julio and Friends owner. So here we go. Shame on you, Friends. Shame.
Week 5 Review
Kyle Rudolph getting his first sub-10pt game in four weeks did not do Runner Runner any favors in their matchup against ACL. Miller put up a huge goose egg, but he was saved by fellow starters Zeke and Olsen putting up over 25pts each, leading ACL to the top score this week. The win was a crucial one as it puts ACL ahead of Runner Runner in divisional wins, putting them at the top of Colorexico division.
The Munnies/Ddys match was much closer than anticipated, though still ended as predicted. The Ddys needed a bigger game out of Pryor, but typical Cleveland shenanigans prevented him from getting any big plays. On the other side, angry Brady went absolutely off with a 37pts score. While surprising that the biggest beneficiary was Bennett, on the Munnies bench, Gronk and Edelman still got enough of a share to put the team at 4-1, tied for Newizona division lead.
Sicarios needed '16-Futures, but got '15-Futures instead. Three players in the lineup put up over 26pts, including the overlooked 3rd-string QB, Rivers, who performed admirably while Bortles and Palmer were out. The Sicarios had a couple 30 pointers themselves, but it wasn't enough to overcome the duds from Morris, DJax, and Tamme. Their defense didn't do them any favors, either.
Let's hear it for the Land O'Nutts! Going up against the division leader from last year, not much was expected from the Nutts. A couple of injuries in the Lions backfield was all they needed for Theo to blow up for a dominant showing. Without Brees to lead the way, the bEARs looked a bit lost, and as a result have dropped down to 2nd to last in the division.
What do Stefon Diggs, Eric Ebron, and Robert Quinn have in common? All three were inactive for week 5 yet still started by their coaches in the Friends/TDs matchup. The TDs GM has been much better about start/sit decisions this year (demonstrated by their dominance over the Newizona division), but slipped a bit into old habits this week with their lineman. Luckily for them, the Friends' coach fell asleep at the wheel leaving both Diggs and Ebron in. What makes this turn of events even more hilarious is glancing through the Friends' bench to find none other than Sammie Coates, who would have single-handedly won them the game. I don't think I even need to talk about a certain 2nd round kicker.
Week 6 Preview
0-5 is a pretty rough start to a season, and 0-6 is gonna be even worse. The BgDkDdys have had a string of devastating injuries to their star players, leaving them relying on what depth they have to field a full roster. This week is another tough battle against the powerhouse ACL team. Reports are that Pryor has been making plays as QB at practice this week, which could be the difference maker the Ddy's need.
The Sicarios start isn't much better than the Ddys, and they face a similarly tough opponent with the E-Munnies. The Munnies are taking the interesting approach of starting both New England TEs. If last week was an indicator of how Brady plans to use the duo, that strategy could pay dividends. The one small silver lining for Sicarios is that every time the Pats score, at least Gostkowski gets a field goal.
This one will be a battle of the stud RBs. On paper it looks like Runenr Runner has the more talented backs, but this week they have a bit of a tougher schedule going up against Seattle and Denver. Both teams are locked in with their QBs in what should be a spectacular shootout, assuming Cam is cleared to play. Speaking of concussions, the bEARs have to be worried about their future at TE as Reed deals with his potentially 6th concussion in as many years.
Fresh off a 2-game streak, everything is firing in the right direction for the Nutts. This week they face a humbled Julio and Friends, a former power-house team that has struggled early in the season. Jamaal Charles has been practicing in full this week, which bodes well for the team as they try to stop the Nutts' unexpected streak.
The 4-1 TDs take on the 2-3 Futures in this week's issue of "Sentences I never thought I'd write." After starting the season at 1-3, The Futures looked like their old selves last week, and will be hoping to continue that trend against their seemingly unstoppable opponents. The TDs are without Jameis this week, though Stafford has worked as a suitable backup in the past. They will need the win to maintain their lead over the Munnies in Newizona.
This week kicks off with the return of Siemian taking on the San Diego Ambulances Chargers. Let's hope they can avoid a season-ender this time.
